My Ideal Partner

As we meet new and interesting people and consider relationships with them, it is so easy to base your desires on their exterior shell. Sometimes we don't take the time to look at what is truly inside that person. But the most important factor to consider before you get involved with someone, is understanding what it is that YOU truly are looking for, what you want, and what you need.



I don't know why this is coming out tonight; I just felt like putting my thoughts out there. So without further ado, these are my thoughts...



My ideal partner is loving, caring, intelligent, educated, charismatic, sexy, funny, kind-hearted, and romantic. She is the one that makes my eyes light up each and every time I see her. I will thank God for how lucky I am to have her in my life whenever she is in my presence. My appreciation for her will be exemplified by "just because" gestures. I can sit down on the couch with her after a hard day and feel comforted by her soft caress. She will shed a silver lining on the crumbiest day. I can sit down with her on a boardwalk as we listen to the ocean not uttering a word to one another but just appreciating each others presence. I'll look into her eyes and be able to see her soul as she gazes back at me reciprocating my energy. I'll accept her for who she is; appreciating both her strengths and shortcomings. I will do all that I can in efforts to support her aspirations and goals in life. She will understand that a great time out on the town is not limited to how much money is spent. I will think of her as I gaze in the sky and wonder if she is looking at the very same thing I am looking at connecting us through the cosmos. I will sense her frustrations and fear and comfort her with my honesty and commitment to "us." I will realize that not even the funkiest argument or disagreement is worth the loss of her. My ego and pride will be checked at the door in order to allow my expressions of love to shine through. She will be proud to have me as her man as I will be proud to have her as my woman. I will never give her a reason to feel threatened by any other and reserve all of my flirts and wittiness for her. I will be her biggest fan when she triumphs as well as share her pain when she fails ready to lift her up. I will know when to kiss her softly and when to embrace her. She will stroke the back of my head as we drive to our destination demonstrating her security and love for me. She'll rest her head on my shoulder just because she knows I am there for her. I take care of her when she's sick and nurse her back to health. I will continuously look for new ways to surprise her. I will purchase her gifts and write her notes exclaiming my dearest sentiments. We will light up a room with our energy when we enter it leaving others to comment on how great a couple we are. I will continue to grow with her through the years taking the good with the bad. I will listen to the words in songs and think of her. She will be my queen and my angel.



But most importantly...



She will feel the exact same way for me!

ORIGINAL POST DATE: 6/28/07 (YAHOO 360)

WHY ASK? You Already Know The Answer!!!!

Why do we ask questions we already know the answers to?
Why do we put ourselves in situations that will only reveal the gross reality you really DON'T want to know?


Why? Why? Why?


When you ask some questions, you already know the answer! What is that burning desire in the pit of your stomach that drives you to request information that if you didn't know, you'd probably be better off. But wait, thing is - you wouldn't be SURE unless you asked. So in reality (with regards to certain situations), it's a LOSE LOSE situation!!!

This reminds me of a blog I put out there a WHILE back.


Check it out!


REPOST ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Ain't life a b*tch!
Why do we constantly torture ourselves at times asking and searching for answers to questions we already really know the answers to, but continue to dig for the answers anyway? I mean, do you REALLY want to know what's up with SO-AND-SO?? Yeah - you do, but you really don't - because, quite frankly, you already know! When you call your dude or chicky and he/she says "I'm on the other line. Lemme call you back!" - and you never get a call back that night just for that person to tell you some bullsh*t the next day like "oh, I didn't call you back because I fell asleep." HAHAHAHA - YO...THAT IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST BULLSH*T LINES! How the heck do you fall asleep while you were on the other line? And if you got off the phone and laid your head on the pillow, why wasn't I on your list of people to call back - at least as a courtesy. Okay - I am venting. Breathe in s-l-o-w-l-y.....EXHALE - LOL. Back to the point...Your gut usually tells you what the real deal is so why not just listen to that? If it smells like sh*t, trust me - it IS shit! If the n*gga ain't feeling you, you usually know. If the chick ain't feeling you, you usually know. If your sex has fallen off - uh oh - don't get Maaco b/c they can't help you! LOL. It's just something inside of you that tells you something isn't right. More than likely, that little feeling inside of you is 98% correct. Thing is, we hope to fall within that 2% fallout and make excuses for someone's else's actions, lie to ourselves, and defy our better judgement for the sake of believing in them. If dude was nice in the beginning and now he is a creep, was he always a creep or was he that wolf in the sheep's clothing? If chicky was all goo-goo eyed over you in the beginning and now you are wondering why her eyes don't sparkle when she sees you, did she always think you were the cat's meow or was she that female dog in that nice PUSSYcat's clothing? Connections are cosmic. They are intangible. It's either THERE or NOT THERE. Listen to your gut and either GO FOR IT or MOVE THE F*CK ON! A lot of people go against thier gut at times b/c of the influences of friends and/or family. Unfortunately, a lot of times, going against your gut prolongs the inevitable. But - ya gotta live and learn! If you want a direct answer, ask a direct question. If the answer seems vague and lacks substance, well, urr...ummm....mmmm - you know what's up!!
I am the #1 culprit of torturing myself and not taking my own damn advice. I've been doing it for years upon years. There are times when I feel it is my Achilles Heel. I have found, however, that all of ya'll have done some suspect @ss sh*t at one time or another. I used to think that it was unnatural, however, I have come to realize that it is not. It's just a part of growing and learning. However, this type of behavior lays within an insecurtiy we ALL have within ourselves. Some of us manage it better than others, however, we all have it. I urge you all to do this right now - today - ahora!!! Make a list of all the things you believe are great about yourself. Take some time right now to Big yourself up for a change. Feel good about who you are and what you represent. If there are things you dislike about yourself, then get off your @ss and try to work on them. F*ck those people that are trying to bring you down! If you look good, your hair is tight, your clothes are on point, your smile is radiant, you know how to tie the knot of a cherry with your tongue (wink) - yo...just feel good about yourself because it ALL starts with YOU! For me (personally) - I am my best when I have my "swagger." Sometimes I misplace it. Luckily, I have family and friends that remind me where I lost it.


This blog is all over the place - I know! It's just another one of my random @ss thoughts. In my opinion, everybody is full of sh*t in one way, shape, or form - present company included. It's just a matter of whether my bullsh*t is compatible with yours!


ORIGINAL POST DATE: 7/4/06 & 3/20/07 (YAHOO 360)

Can You Really Escape "The Game?"

I was talking to a friend of mine about this earlier. Our conversation went in the direction of giving up on finding "the one" yadda, yadda, yadda...you all know that convo! We all talk about wanting someone that isn't going to play games. But is it really possible to escape "the game?"

Now EVERYONE says they don't play games yet we have all found ourselves in situation where we just knew something fishy was going down. I am not even going to sit here and say that I have never played a game. When I think about it though, it makes me sick to my stomach because it really is stupid, foolish, and immature. But as I think more and more, I have embarked on my quest to break down "the game."




Why do people play games? People play games for a number of reasons. Some play because it keeps them protected from possible hurt. The absurdity behind that is, these people are not only guarding themselves, but they are setting up a barrier between themselves and the other person preventing them from obtaining what it is they truly want. * scratchin' my head * It's like wanting something from a store you don't want to pay for.




The people you have to watch out for are those that play games and don't admit it; even to themselves. These people have supressed and lied to themselves so much that they have become victims of their own hype. These are people that refuse to look at themselves in the mirror to face themselves in efforts to learn more about who they really are - both good and bad.




One of the most intriguing thoughts I had, however, is the whole concept of unconscious game playing. Is this possible? Could it be that someone who plays games has an unconscious nack for it? This kind of game playing goes hand and hand with the last thought above. Another thought is this. Is game playing something that is interpreted by the person who is being "played?" People sometimes hide behind bold truths and being upfront. "Yeah baby - I just want to kick it with you! I'm not really looking for anything more." However, if you know the other person wants more from you, could this be construed as "playing" them, or are you just being upfront? Hmmm. I know I have definitely put some bold truths out there for others and felt vindicated knowing I did "my part," thus, exonerating myself from any wrongdoing and keeping my conscience clean. But does this necessarily mean I haven't "played" them? How do I know what this person was feeling? Did I care? Hmmm.



I guess I say all of this to, one, open a forum for discussion with regards to this topic. But secondly, though we do not "owe" anything to anyone, we are all basically looking for the same thing. I believe that we should respect and acknowledge the fact that the journey to where we want to be is a hard one at times. It is hard to open up to others. It is hard to be upfront and honest at times. It is hard to put all of your cards on the table and leave a piece of you hanging out there to dry. Perhaps we should be a bit more sensitive to the feelings of others and how they react or respond to our words and/or our actions. As Alonzo (Denzel Washington) in Training Day so poetically put it..."the sh*t is chess, not checkiz!"




SELFISH - looking after own desires: concerned with your own interests, needs, and wishes while ignoring those of others.




Another DJPARALLEL random thought!! Think about it!




ORIGINAL POST DATE: 2/28/07 (YAHOO 360)

The Woman's Guide to Guy-Speak by Jonathan Small

I saw this online today and thought it was interesting reading to share. Some of the things I agree with and found interesting. I do, however, believe that the door swings both ways with some of the points. Some of MY points and questions are in bold blue below. All comments welcome!

Do you speak guy? Can you comprehend all the subtle -- and not-so-subtle -- nuances of his secret language? If you're a woman, chances are the answer is sort of, kind of, not really. Guy-talk looks like English, sounds like English, but it's more like Himglish."Men don't always say what they mean," says Scott Haltzman, MD, a clinical assistant professor of psyciatry and human behavior at Brown University and author of the upcoming book 'The Secrets of Happily Married Men.' "And sometimes we say what we mean but women understand it completely differently." All in all, that means that cracking the code can be difficult -- but not impossible. To give you a head start, we talked to relationship experts and real guys (who speak in the native tongue) to shed some light on some of a guy's most common lines -- and what in the world he really means by them.

Women don't alwys say what they mean either. There have been lots of times when I thought I knew where a woman was coming from only to learn there were more layers to her statement(s) or question(s) than I anticipated harboring a deeper meaning.

What he says: "We should hang out some time."

What he means: "I don't want to flat-out ask you on a date and risk rejection, so first I'm going to gauge your interest."

Why he says it: "This is the safest way to go," says Ron Karmel. "If she says 'yeah' and gives you her number, you know you're in, but if she just says 'yeah' and does nothing --you know it's a no go." And with the male ego the way it is, this is the preferred way for him to find out. Says Haltzman, "It hurts to be rejected, and so asking a woman out this way gives her a chance to pull away without the guy being embarrassingly turned down."

What he says: "I really like your shoes."
What he means: "I really like you."
Why he says it: Granted, he could genuinely like your shoes. But if he says this during the early stages of dating, it also likely means he's physically attracted to you -- but doesn't want to come right out and say it and seem like a dog. Ty Marciniak claims that this is one of the first things he says when he's into a girl. "It boosts her confidence, but it also shows her I'm fashionable and sweet," he says. "She'll notice that I didn't come right out and compliment her legs or something." Which is, of course, what he really was complimenting in the first place. Get it?What he says: "Maybe we should take some time off from each otheryou know, take a break." What he means: "Maybe I'm better off keeping my options open." Why he says it: Seems harsh, but it's common: "This kind of statement is driven by the man's fear of hurting the woman or by wanting to have it both ways -- having her without committing," explains Alon Gratch, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist and author of If Men Could Talk. Problem is, women often take "the break" at face value. Trust me, if a guy is crazy about you, he'll want to spend as much time with you as possible, period.


LOL @ this one. I agree with this, however, I feel there can also be another dynamic. I have been in situations where I have said this and it wasn't to keep my options open. There have been times when I put it straight up out there that I wanted to be with someone just to get a lack-luster answer. Sometimes the woman is trying to see what HER options are which doesn't put out the strongest energy. This makes a man feel a bit uncertain about the woman which may lead him to make this statement. Okay - moving on...


What he says: "I am listening!"
What he means: "I'm listening, but I really don't want to get into a long, emotional discussion right now."
Why he says it: When a guy zones out, women generally interpret that to mean he's shut her off. More likely he's just overwhelmed. "Men process verbal information better when it's direct and to the point," says Haltzman. Scott Borchert agrees. "When I say this, it usually means I just wish she'd get to the point sooner," he says. One way around this is to ask him for his advice -- guys love to fix problems -- or to make sure he's primed for a marathon talk session. So rather than launching right in, say, "This story's kind of involved -- can you listen now or should we talk later?"

Hmmm

What he says: "You're just too good for me."
What he means: "I need out of this relationship."
Why he says it: "I've said that many times, but not once have I meant it," admits Ron. "What I meant was I needed an out in the relationship, but I wanted to make her feel good about it." Another popular alternative to this is the, "You deserve someone better than me" line. So why can't guys just come out and tell you the truth? Unless you're new to the planet Earth, you may have noticed men aren't big on having talks -- particularly breakup talks. In fact they'll say anything to avoid them, such as butter you up so you don't chew them out. "Men don't go to places they're afraid of," says Gratch. "We don't like to go where we might have to open up about feelings." Did he just say feelings? Blech!


Bah - women do the same thing as well. In a matter of fact, my last girlfriend used BOTH of those lines mentioned above. When I heard her say it, I was like . Yeah...right?!? It was at that point I started to think...yeup - time is limited now!


What he says: "I think I'm falling in love with you"
What he means: "I am this close to saying the L-word, but I can't bring myself to say it just yet and when I do say it, I want to be sure you'll say it back."
Why he says it: Ron calls this an "in-between line" -- it's a warm-up act to "I love you," and it tests the waters to see if she's feeling the same way. For women, talking about your emotions and exposing your vulnerabilities is a way to bond with another person, "but men don't view exposing your vulnerabilities as a positive," says Haltzman. "They don't want to appear weak." That's why words like "thinking" and "falling" come in very handy -- they give him an out. But they also allow him to express something meaningful in a way only he understands. Hopefully, now you will, too.


Yeah - I agree with this one. I may not necessarily use that particular line. But I have been noted as saying "You know you got me sprung right?" or "I am loving where we are right now!" Indeed, I used these to test the waters before springing the L-word. I mean, not for anything - wen those feelings and emotions start flaring, they become like a wildfire that is hard to put out. I don't know anyone (man or woman) that wants to put themselves out there with the possibility of being crushed. The coolest I LOVE YOU's are the one's where you just KNOW! I mean, you can look into that woman's eyes as she gazes back at you and you just KNOW! Ahhh...such a refreshing thought. Where the hell is spring?!? LOL


In conclusion, I believe that both men and women alike have certain ways of saying things without really saying what they mean. As I stated before, no one wants to be hurt in any capacity. For whatever reason, it seems there are less and less people that truly want to settle down and be with one person. Some people are simply fearful. Others want their cake and eat it too. No one is perfect by any means. I am not insinuating that anyone should settle, but there has to be more soul searching as to what you REALLY want differentiating your WANTS from your NEEDS. Make all attempts to keep your life organized and keep your mind sound. The worst feeling is when someone really cool comes around while you are in a moment of turmoil.
OK - RAMBLING NOW. What are your thoughts?


ORIGINAL POST DATE: 3/11/07 (YAHOO 360)

I LOVE ME!

Guess what?!?!

I LOVE ME!

Why?

Didn't I tell you before?

I guess I didn't.

So allow me to enlighten you.

I LOVE ME!

Why?

Because I have to love myself before I can love anyone else.

I've got to be able to look in the mirror and feel good about what I see.

And I'm not just talkin' about my physical.

Yeah - I gotta love that too.

But I gotta love what's on the inside first.

You see...the inside of ALL things is what determines its substance and worth.

A solid foundation can go much further than the exterior presence perceived by a third party.

So guess what?!?!

I LOVE ME!

Why?

Didn't I tell you before?

I guess I didn't.

So allow me to enlighten you some more.

I LOVE ME!

Why?

Because the years I've put on this earth brings me closer to the apex of wisdom.

What the hell did you just say?

Well, the extent of my knowledge and growth can only go as far as the day I expire.

With every passing day, I take one step closer to my inevitable demise.

Trust me! It's nothing to fear.

If you delve into the core of your being, you will realize that this thing we call life is nothing short of a miraculous creation.

So hear my words!!

I LOVE ME!

Because if I don't have time to hate.

I LOVE ME!

Because it's love that drives me.

I LOVE ME!

Because I strive to be all I can.

But most importantly, I LOVE ME...

Because if I don't, I can't Love You!

ORIGINAL POST DATE: 2/6/07 (YAHOO 360)

I'M JUST ME!

I'm just me...

A man with wisdom

A man with integrity

A man of passion

I'm just me...

A man who loves to love

A man who is sensitive

A man who cares about the feelings of others

I'm just me...

A man that is flawed

A man that makes mistakes

A man that stumbles but picks himself up

I'm just me...

A man that is a lover

A man that is a fighter

A man that has the right balance of sensitivity and edge

I'm just me...

A man that has many angles

A man that is moody

A man that is reflective

I'm just me...

An man that is a good person inside and out

A man that is a risk taker

A man that has the best intentions

I'm just me...

A man that is still learning from the maze of life

A man that is complicated

A man that is dynamic

I'm just me...

A man that is a good friend

A man that has no enemies

A man that yearns for harmony

I'm just me...

A man that is critical

A man that is empathetic

A man that is compassionate

Who am I???

I'm just me!

What you see on the surface isn't always what you get

Sometimes it's necessary to read in between the lines

Sometimes you must dig deeper to uncover the supressed layers of my being

Why can't I be simple to understand?

Why??

Because if I was, I wouldn't be me!

To like me, you must be intrigued by me

To lust me, you must desire me

To love me, you must discard the surface flaws of my being and delve into my soul

Do you now understand who I really am?

Be it as it may...

I'M JUST ME!

ORIGINAL POST DATE: 3/13/07 (YAHOO 360)

TO LOVE

When I love

I love hard

When I love

My mind and body are eclipsed with an array of sensuality and emotion

But I've only experienced you once in my lifetime

Will you come around again?

I have feelings of anxiety

My soul is restless

I feel like a little child counting the days until Christmas Day

I know you'll bless me again one day

Until that day, I'll just wait

When you find me , I'll embrace you harder than ever

I won't let you slip away again

The feeling was too exhilerating to explain in words

So until then, I'll exercise my patience and wait for you to bless me once more

ORIGINAL POST DATE: 4/6/07 (YAHOO 360)