Ode To Kris

As you read the title...NO - this is not an ode to myself. My name actually begins with a "C" - lol. This is an ode to someone that has grown to be ultra special in my life in a very short amount of time. In order to appreciate the words I'm about to put down, it's important for me to reflect on my blogs of past that bled energy of frustration, temporary blasts of happiness, and wishful thinking. Over the course of my blogging tenure, I've spoken about a number of things that people randomly think about at times. However, the vast majority of my blogs dealt with love and relationships. Can you ever get enough of that topic?? With so many layers, relationships are like a big ball of yarn. But allow me to stop rambling and get to it!

MY ODE TO KRIS

I just wanted to take an opportunity to communicate how very special you are to me. Though I say these things randomly to you on a regular, I've never taken the time to just sit down with my thoughts AND immortalize them in the form of collective expressions of how I truly feel. There are quite a few things that I feel and wish to communicate that sound so cliche! I've never been an advocate of overused cliches like "love at first sight" (to name one) but I find myself using them in order to describe how I feel and what you mean to me. From the very first time I saw you, your whole essence just captivated me. I knew that you were someone that I wanted to talk to and was hoping, like I've done in the past, that we'd hit it off. You're physical presence is EXACTLY what I've been looking for. You are such a beautiful woman. What I did not realize until later on though is how beautiful you are on the inside as well. It pains me to even think that men in your past would do you wrong and not realize the gem they had. Immaturity - that's all I'll say. Years from now, I'm sure they will look back and be like - wow...I had a dime and let that go. But it's of no consequence now because I have found you and trust me when I tell you - I have NO intention of letting you go. Thought it's only been three months (roughly), I can honestly say that I love you. And what makes things so much better than other "situations" I've been in, is that loving you is SO easy! Everything is easy! I don't have to put forth any mental energy in order to communicate my expressions of love to you. It simply comes so naturally and I feel blessed on so many levels to have you. I've been waiting for you for a long time and you've finally come. Are you "the one?" At first I was saying to myself - I certainly hope so. But I have to exercise the laws of attraction and say to myself..."thoughts become things!" If I want you to be the one, then I'll make that happen. I believe our relationship is analogous to a free flowing stream of water. The only thing that can stop that flow is if I consciously put a barrier to prevent that flow which I have no intention of doing. In short, I'm ready to allow myself to drift with this current and allow it to take us wherever it wants us to go. There's no need for any true effort on our part. The current will dictate our destination. Wherever we go though, I want to be there with you. My life has had it's share of ups and downs - especially over the past few years. But like any storm, the sunshine returns eventually. I must say that you are one of the main reasons my sunshine is returning. I've already started feeling the warmth of your presence and am looking forward to even more time being spent in the rays of your energy. My spirit is calm for once and I cannot fathom the last time I've been in this peaceful place. In retrospect, perhaps I've NEVER been in this place. All I can say is that it's a great place to be and I know you have a great deal to do with that. This is the reason it is so easy for me to express my innermost feelings to you. I couldn't be any more ready to move forward and I'm so happy I never settled and waited for exactly what I've always wanted - someone who is beautiful even when she sleeps, someone who is articulate and intelligent, someone who doesn't takes the world seriously but is not a serious person, someone who enjoys the same things I enjoy, someone who is cultured and wordly, someone who recognizes and appreciates a good man, someone who understands how to communicate her expressions of passion and love, someone that will have my back as much as I have theirs, someone who brings so positive energy that you can't help but to see it ---- someone like the greatest woman I've ever met by the name of Kristin Parker.

Are You In Love With The Person Or Their Resume?

If you have ever experienced being in love with someone, you know that it's one of the grandest feelings you can experience. It's the kind of feeling that touches your soul and it's completely unexplainable and intangible. Everyone makes attempts, however, to understand what they feel and why the feel it. 80% of the blogs out here are about love - . One of the greatest feelings is also one of the greatest mysteries.

Today I would like to delve into a very interesting component of the love mystery. When you say that you are "in love" with someone, are you certain you aren't simply infatuated and in awe of their resume? Case in point...my last relationship was about as dynamic and gratifying as it could be (at its apex of course - ). Once it ended, I felt devastated. I did, however, make the decision to attempt to reconcile the relationship. However, before I did that, I had to ask myself whether I was doing this because of the person, or because I was simply in awe of what she represented. The bottom line is you can have 10 degrees, make 6 figures, be the trendiest dresser, etc., and still be an @ss hole or simply someone that doesn't treat you the way YOU want to be treated. Sometimes we get caught up in what a person is on the shell - how they represent themselves - and ignore or avoid the true qualities (both good and bad) this person possesses. This only leads to us dealing with their bullsh*t - more than we would normally deal with. In short, do you love that person for who that are and the purity of their soul? Does this person bring a "calm" to your inner being that others cannot touch? --- OR --- are you caught up in the shell?

Personally, I would like to have the best of both worlds, but those people are somewhat hard to find. So my advice to all of you lovebirds out there - if you've got someone that is genunine, kind, romantic, and gives a hundred sh*ts about you, consider holding onto them . Natural beauty isn't restricted to your exterior being - it is something that just is.

ORIGINAL POST DATE: 6/15/06 (YAHOO 360)

The Booty Call - Are They More Trouble Than They Are Worth?

If you don't have a steady significant other that can bless you with sex whenever you want it, you have two options. You can either manually stimulate yourself (aka masturbation ) or you can pick up the phone and call an "old faithful" for a booty call. Most of us have them. That one person that seems to always be on stand-by and ready to f*ck your brains out with no strings attached. But are there really no strings attached?? I love sex and all that comes with it just like the next one, however, as I grow a little older (and wiser I might add), I have been thinking a lot about "the why" behind booty calls. Yes, you can get your "nut" off with a warm body instead of with your hand or with a toy - but is the immediate gratification worth it in the long run?

I got a call about 11pm one night from a chick I know doggone well wanted some. She didn't come right out and say it, but I knew what was up. Though I was tired as hell, I decided to jump in the shower, throw some clothes on, and go out anyway. As I ran into traffic on the bridge, I was like - F*CK!!! Now I find myself sitting in traffic and the wheels in my head start turning. What the heck am I going through all of this for? I am tired as hell and I can be in the bed right now!! I knew I would be extra tired the following day as a result of my nocturnal activities. But...I already passed through the toll so no turning back now - LOL. So traffic finally starts moving and I get to my destination by 12:45am. As soon as I get inside, I am greeted and given a drink. By 3am, and 4 drinks laced with liquor later, I was toasted! So I start to think...OK - I am getting tired so let's get this moving shall we - LOL. We go into the bedroom and it's all good. Lick, suck, grope, choke (just kidding ), and then...UUUUUUHHHHHHHH --- NUT BUST!

Now I can only speak for myself, but when the nut is busted, ALL rationale slaps me in the face. The gross reality that I'm really not feeling this chick beyond any sexual escapade hits me. I start thinking to myself, DAMN - my own bed sure would feel good right about now. But breaking out just like that seems a bit too ROACH. So I am laying there thinking to myself once again...is this it? Is this what I want? Yes, sex is great...and YES, a warm body to lay next to is great. However, I have reached a point in my life where I yearn for a bit more than getting my rocks off. The connection and feeling you get with someone you REALLY want to be with is priceless.

Sometimes you have to think about some things when you get involved with someone just for a booty call. It may seem far fetched, however, it can become a reality!

1) You should be using protection, however, what if she gets pregnant? There isn't any contraceptive that is 100% effective. They always say it's 99%. You never know. You could be that 1%. Are you ready to go through the mental anguish of discussing whether to bring a child into this world under those circumstances?

2) We all have our little secrets. How do I know how many other people this person is laying their head with?? Not to say that you are totally "safe" from this if you are involved. You may have a higher probability though. Diseases and and stuff like that aren't always transmitted solely by penile/vaginal penetration. Those few hours of pleasure could leave you with some sh*t you gotta get some cream or some pills for. Or even worse - some sh*t you CAN'T get rid of.

3) What if one of the constituents start catching feelings? This, unfortunately, is the cause of a lot of booty call breakups - LOL. We all know it's a b*tch when there is an imbalance in feelings. Somebody has to be the "bad guy."

So back to the question at hand. Booty Calls - Are they worth it in the long run?

If the chick is all that, why the f*ck do I want her as just a booty call? Holla!!

ORIGINAL POST DATE: 7/15/06 (YAHOO 360)

"Soul Mate" versus "Good Match"

How many times have you heard people say that they are looking for their "soul mate?" I have heard this a trillion and one times. Even I have used the term in the past. Sometimes we use terms, phrases, and expressions that we truly don't understand our damn selves. So let us delve into this topic and see what we come up with.



Firstly, if you believe in the whole "soul mate" ideology, does this mean there is only ONE person out there that is "perfect" for you? I don't personally believe that to be true. A blog that my friend (DaManDL) started posed some questions pertaining to compatibility. I commented that people change as they progress through their lives. We want different things out of life now that we may not have wanted, or may not have been ready for, 5-10 years ago. Thus, someone who may have seemed like they were your "soul mate" back then could be totally wrong for you now. But that's just scratching the surface. Let's take it a step further. When we start talking about who you are "meant" to be with, this brings forth a much deeper and spiritual meaning. God is the only being that is ALL KNOWING! If you feel me on this, then you will understand that we (as mortal beings) will NEVER be able to predict or fully understand Him. I am a firm advocate that He places people in our lives for reasons. With our "simple" minds, we scurry around like roaches to crumbs on the floor searching for finite answers the the "why." The bottom line is, you will NEVER know if the person you are with or are going to be with is the absolute BEST mate for you in this world. So I choose to not use the term "soul mate" for this is beyond my comprehension as a mortal being. I do believe, however, that if you meet someone that gives you a feeling inside of your heart that simply cannot be verbally explained - a feeling that makes a sunny day that much more appreciated - one that broadens your horizons beyond that you have fathomed...that, my friends, is the measure of a good match. I say ride that for as long as you can. Hopefully, it will last for the remainder of your existence here on earth.



What are your thoughts?



ORIGINAL POST DATE: 5/22/06 (YAHOO 360)

How Long Do You Fight Before You Give Up On The One You Love??

Pat Bennetar - Love Is A Battlefield

Who the hell are you telling?!? If you have been in love before...I mean that true sh*t - you know that you feel about as naked and vulnerable as a newborn baby. At the same time, that love offers a sense of security that warms you like a big thick blanket on a cold winter's night. When things are going downhill, how do you know how long to duke it out or if you should duke it out at all?

Well, allow me to offer my suggestions...

First off, you have to determine whether your significant other is "worth" holding onto or not. What are the genuine qualities this person possesses? Don't just look at the problems and the residual effects of the problems you face. Try to see that person for who he/she TRULY is. You must also reflect on what it is that you want from a relationship. Does this person possess most of the qualities you would want in a lifetime partner? How does this person make you feel? Also, do you feel this person helps you grow mentally or spiritually?

If you answered YES to all or most of the questions above, in my opinion, he/she may be worth fighting for. So how do you fight for someone? First off, drop the ego. Both men and women have egos. Don't fall victim to "the game." Keep communication open and be honest and upfront with your feelings. Never be ashamed to express your most innermost thoughts. You can only win the big jackpot when you bet more than a quarter! Be honest with yourself and make certain it is more than ego as to why you want to be with this person. Sometimes when we part with our significant other, we think we want them back so bad when in actuality, we just don't want to deal with the feelings of a failed relationship. Unfortunately, you can only fight for someone that wants to be fought for - lol. If you have been truthful with yourself, dropped your ego, communicated your innermost thoughts, that's all you can do! Basically, KEEP YOUR SIDE OF THE STREET CLEAN!

My final thoughts on this is this...
As so many people say (and I believe it too), if it is meant to be, paths shall cross again!

Love is something I believe people take for granted at times. Sure there are a million men and women out there, however, as you grow older, your selections become more and more limited. Basically, we don't downgrade from one relationship to the next - we make all attempts to maintain or upgrade if possible. Looks are one thing, but chemistry between two poeple is something that cannot be measured on a scale. It just is. So when you find love, hold onto with two hands fight for it if you think it's worth it - because it doesn't come around every 5 mintues like it used to back in the day!

ORIGINAL POST DATE: 5/17/06

Is Everyone Jaded???

I know I have been away for a while and haven't written anything lately, however, that doesn't necessarily mean that I don't have anything to say. Something I have been thinking about for a little bit is the state of my generation as it pertains to relationships. They say that 35 is the new 25 which I guess is good in certain respects. I don't think it is good, however, when you relate this to relationships.

One thing I often get asked is why I am single. I usually respond that I am not single by choice. I am very much interested in getting involved in a relationship, having kids, and doing the family thing. On paper, and even on 360, it appears that EVERYONE is looking for the exact same thing. So these questions arise. If everyone is looking for the same thing, we are there so many single people out there? Why are there so many @sshole men in their 30's and 40's still acting like they never grew up out of their 20's? Why are there so many women in their 30's and 40's that are still looking for Mr. Right?

It is my belief that, on paper, people present themselves to be the people they WANT to be and not necessarily the people they ARE. But I think to myself, that can't be it! As I delve into this topic more, I find that my generation is seriously JADED; plagued by their past relationships and experiences in conjunction with the third party experiences they come in contact with via friends and family. I do believe that most people want what I want. But how do we all get there if our baggage is so heavy that we can hardly move it?

Pretty women are tired of creep negroes talking to them as if they have no manners. They are tired of creep negroes treating them like they are just a piece of @ss. This is such a frequent occurence that when a "real" brotha approaches them, the wall is so tall and thick, the dude simply can't get in.

Women that aren't as attractive or proportionately sound also have thier issues with men. A lot of guys (unfortunately) are always looking to better deal what they have. Thus, heartbreak occurs which contributes to the jaded population.

Men also have issues. It is a well known fact that women outnumber men in this world. However, if a quarter of the men out there are trying to be ballers, another quarter are trying to be punk @ss thug n*ggaz, and another quarter are simply trying to get as much @ss as possible, that only leaves 25% of men actually out there about something! I, personally, believe I am part of that 25% that is about something. But when I approach a woman I get one of the following:

* you're not thug enough
* you look sneaky and are probably got women lined up
* you're probably a playa playa running game
* you look TOO nice (WTF?)

One of the most profound things I have ever heard was this...

"...you know what your game is? Your game is the fact that you have no game which makes you appealling but I know you're running game."

Ummm...okay. What the f*ck does that mean?!?!?

Now as I have gotten older and wiser, I have learned that taking you time to get to know someone is something that is very important. Being I want to take my time and actually befriend a woman before I commit to her not wanting to contribute to the breakup statistics, I have found that women look at this behavior as being suspicious (see bullet point number 3 above). Eventually, things fizzle b/c I am "taking too long." C'mon - 1 month ain't a whole hell of a lot of time when you are sizing it up against a lifetime comittment.

So...with all this said (b/c I know I am all over the place on this one), I have come to the conclusion that EVERYONE is JADED!! There are so many insecure, suspicious, and apprehensive people out there. And I guess they all have reasons to be. I too put it ALL out there and got burnt up darker than a forgotten piece of bacon in a skillet. So how do we stop the bleeding? How do we break down these walls that everyone seems to have? I am becoming more and more reserved to thinking I am NOT going to find someone that is ready and, more importantly, open and willing enough to share the type relationship I am looking for. And if I do, I wonder if I will be too doggone old to start a family. I may not have a biological clock, but I also don't want to be running after a toddler at 50 years old!

ORIGINAL POST DATE: 10/23/06 (YAHOO 360)

My Ideal Partner

As we meet new and interesting people and consider relationships with them, it is so easy to base your desires on their exterior shell. Sometimes we don't take the time to look at what is truly inside that person. But the most important factor to consider before you get involved with someone, is understanding what it is that YOU truly are looking for, what you want, and what you need.



I don't know why this is coming out tonight; I just felt like putting my thoughts out there. So without further ado, these are my thoughts...



My ideal partner is loving, caring, intelligent, educated, charismatic, sexy, funny, kind-hearted, and romantic. She is the one that makes my eyes light up each and every time I see her. I will thank God for how lucky I am to have her in my life whenever she is in my presence. My appreciation for her will be exemplified by "just because" gestures. I can sit down on the couch with her after a hard day and feel comforted by her soft caress. She will shed a silver lining on the crumbiest day. I can sit down with her on a boardwalk as we listen to the ocean not uttering a word to one another but just appreciating each others presence. I'll look into her eyes and be able to see her soul as she gazes back at me reciprocating my energy. I'll accept her for who she is; appreciating both her strengths and shortcomings. I will do all that I can in efforts to support her aspirations and goals in life. She will understand that a great time out on the town is not limited to how much money is spent. I will think of her as I gaze in the sky and wonder if she is looking at the very same thing I am looking at connecting us through the cosmos. I will sense her frustrations and fear and comfort her with my honesty and commitment to "us." I will realize that not even the funkiest argument or disagreement is worth the loss of her. My ego and pride will be checked at the door in order to allow my expressions of love to shine through. She will be proud to have me as her man as I will be proud to have her as my woman. I will never give her a reason to feel threatened by any other and reserve all of my flirts and wittiness for her. I will be her biggest fan when she triumphs as well as share her pain when she fails ready to lift her up. I will know when to kiss her softly and when to embrace her. She will stroke the back of my head as we drive to our destination demonstrating her security and love for me. She'll rest her head on my shoulder just because she knows I am there for her. I take care of her when she's sick and nurse her back to health. I will continuously look for new ways to surprise her. I will purchase her gifts and write her notes exclaiming my dearest sentiments. We will light up a room with our energy when we enter it leaving others to comment on how great a couple we are. I will continue to grow with her through the years taking the good with the bad. I will listen to the words in songs and think of her. She will be my queen and my angel.



But most importantly...



She will feel the exact same way for me!

ORIGINAL POST DATE: 6/28/07 (YAHOO 360)